Open the Door

I want my kids to have agency - the ability to do what is right or what is necessary. I want them to be confident in their choices and walk the path they want to walk regardless of what others are saying or doing. Part of the process is to instill in them the confidence that they can do the right things and change the outcome for the better.

One morning a few weeks ago, I walked my 6 year old daughter E to school. We got to the door of the school like any other morning, but this morning was different. The lady that usually opens the door for the kids wasn’t there and once the bell rang, all the kids stood there. They were all waiting for directions.

E was at the front of the line and I told her to open the door so the other kids would be able to get it. She looked at me confused because she wasn’t sure if she was supposed to open the door. I reassured her it was fine, but she kept standing there. After a few more moments, another parent walked up and opened the door so the stream of kids could get into school.

After school, I asked E about her thoughts this morning when I asked her to open the door. She said she was not sure what to do because even though I was saying it, she felt like she needed to wait for someone at school to tell her the directions because she was at school. I told her that is completely normal and fine. What I was trying to help her flex is her problem solving muscle. Sometimes it isn’t easy to solve the right problem at the time you need to solve it for a variety of reasons, but once you think about the situation a bit, you should be able to confidently solve the problem in front of you.

E understood what I was saying and I know she likes solving problems because she does it proactively at home. School is no different. I want her to be able to be confident and comfortable to take action so that next time she needs to, she will pop open the door when it is time to go into the school - with or without anyone giving her directions.