Mirror Mirror

Recently, I have seen my 6 year old daughter E look at herself in the mirror a lot more. She often looks at it to check her outfit or to dance in front of it. I know it is mostly normal, but a small part of me wants to make sure she doesn’t judge herself based on small things or to get mixed messaging elsewhere about how she should look. I’m extra sensitive to it because she is a girl growing up in a world where the media can paint the wrong picture and expectations.

I know kids get curious again about how they look and what they are wearing as they get older. The fact that E is also doing jazz and ballet add to the fact that mirrors help with their dancing routine. They need to constantly check their form and also pay attention to the teacher - all in front of a huge mirror twice a week. When I see E looking at mirror at home while dancing, I usually don’t say anything.

My wife bought E a bunch of new spring and summer clothes, so sometimes E is doing a fashion show for herself and trying on all different outfits. She will then look in the mirror to see how she looks. At times, she will ask me how she looks and I tell her that she looks great, but I’ll also ask does she feel great wearing it. She usually answers yes and I remind her that is more important than what other people think. If it makes her feel great, that’s all that matters.

There are times where E is just looking at the mirror closely at herself. Those are the times I remind her that she is a lot more than what she sees in the mirror. It’s her personality, kindness, intelligence, and all the things that a mirror cannot see that makes her wonderful. I also tell her to tell herself that she loves herself while looking in the mirror to start reinforcing that she is fine just the way she is. No need for any mirror mirror on the wall drama or controversies. I love E just the way she is - and I hope she does too.