Don’t Tell Me Not To Do It

As a family, we have been in sort of a rhythm in the mornings (thank goodness). With kindergarten and daycare being different drop off times, I was worried how it would all come together. My kids also slept really late for bedtime before we hit this rhythm, but it’s all working itself out. They are sleeping earlier and we don’t have to rush every morning to get out of the door.

Because of all this extra time in the morning, we can take our time with breakfast. As my wife was cooking breakfast for the kids, I was listening to her tell our 4 year old son to stop doing what he was doing since he was going to make a mess on the table before breakfast was served. He looks at my wife and says some words in a very thoughtful and self-aware type of way - he said not to tell him that because it makes him want to do it even more.

I paused and had a micro out of body experience because he is exactly like me. It was so weird to hear him say it out loud. I always kind of saw that in him, but for him to actually articulate it (and not in a crying and whiny way) struck a cord with me. I gave my wife a look and she looked right back at me.

This is something that I obviously haven’t taught the kids and it isn’t just about not listening when someone is saying something. This is about realizing that because someone is saying something, it either wants to make you do the opposite or to do what you are doing even more. I know some kids are already like that, but to have my son already look like a mini-me and have a very similar personality to me is so coincidental. It makes me believe that sometimes behavior and personality traits are genetic, which is something I never believed before kids. I have always thought that environment played a much larger role in someone’s personality, but the scale is tipping the other way for me where now I believe people are just born a certain way when it comes to personality. I’m sure my son won’t even remember saying that, but the way he said it in such a matter of fact way to just express how he understands himself was awesome to see at such a young age. It also reaffirms what I need to prepare for as he grows up and luckily (and hopefully), I know which buttons to push because he is me. A better version of me.