Turning a Foe into a Friend

My 4 year old son used to have a kid in his daycare class that was causing trouble. This kid would bump others, spit, say mean things, and harass others. That’s typical behavior for kids in general, but the fact was this kid did it way beyond normal acceptable ranges.

When my son transferred classes in the summer, they shuffled the kids and mostly randomized which kids ended up with what teachers. Unfortunately for my son, almost all of the friends he played with ended up in a different class and he ended up with the kid who would cause trouble. I was unsure of how my son would take the news, so the days leading up to the transition, I was talking to my son about making new friends and being excited for the new toys. My son said the right things, but I could tell he wasn’t fully excited for the changes.

Fast forward a few months, he is doing fine in his new class. He’s made a lot of new friends and I feel like the changes are good for him since he gets to expand on who he wants to be instead of being the same kid as he was with his other friends. Recently, the teacher told me that my son has even befriended the kid who was causing trouble in the old class. This was a shock to me and the teacher said the two of them were inseparable. Wow. I mean wow.

Apparently, my son has been playing well with this kid and was even asking me for a play date. I don’t know if I’m quite ready for that since this kid had thrown oats all over my sons head just a few months ago, but I am glad that the story arc is changing with this kid. When this kid starts to act out, my son also uses the same tactics his older sister does to him - he threatens to not play with this kid if this kid does shape up. It’s hilarious to me that he is applying what he learns at home from his sister to the kids in daycare and it’s to exert control. What a 180 on being able to boss around the bully and turning a foe into a friend.