I was getting my 5 year old daughter ready in the morning after she had a night of nightmares and restless sleep. It was already difficult to get her ready because my 3 year old son also did not sleep well. He was in her room bothering her the whole time she was trying to get dressed. It’s safe to say that my daughter was in a terrible mood.

When I walked into her room, my 3 old son was attempting to grab her stuffy and run out of her room. It was a good thing that I was able to catch him right as he was leaving the door of the room because I snatched the stuffy back and told him to put on his socks. Then told my daughter to quickly get ready for daycare and she gave me a lot of attitude right back. We were already really late for daycare and I was getting impatient. When I heard the attitude, I ended up taking a breath, and I tried to do something different by having a conversation with her about something else.

She likes to wear this heavy pink, long sleeve dress with very tiny buttons all down her back. It’s one of her favorite dresses to wear, and she always figures out where it’s being hidden and digs it up. Any cold weather, she will try to find that pink dress and wear the whole day, my daughter also knows that I think the buttons are very tiny, so not only is it really difficult to put on… it also doesn’t stay buttoned. I decided to talk about that.

I started off by telling her that I understand why she was behind in getting dressed and that I knew if I was being bothered while getting dressed, it would be hard for me to finish what I was doing. I also talked about how whoever designed this dress did not think about how these buttons would actually work. The buttons are so tiny for a grown-ups hands to button really easily and also the buttons come loose really easily as well. Tiny buttons were also difficult for kids to actually Button, even if it was in a place where you can actually access them, I told my daughter that if she was ever in a position to design clothes in the future, to use really large buttons. That way it’s easier on everyone. I said it in a really silly voice and she started to laugh. She also said that she didn’t understand why the buttons were down someone’s back. It makes it really hard to get dressed. Then she asked for a dress with zippers!

The small conversation completely lighten the mood, and we ended up getting dressed really quickly and out the door. When we’re this late, we usually try to eat breakfast in the car as well, and even though she didn’t finish her breakfast, she offered the leftovers to my son (which indicates that she was in a great mood because she never usually does this!). It’s surprising how such a small conversation about something random accomplished the goal I wanted - to get dressed quickly. It’s a constant reminder that yelling, nagging, and other tactics that yield unhappiness doesn’t always work and when it does, it doesn’t leave everyone happy. I’m glad I used different tools this morning to get the outcome I wanted and I hope my daughter did as well. It was important that she felt validated in her feelings on why she wasn’t dressed and we got to be silly in the morning talking about dress designs. Not a bad morning!