I haven’t dealt with babies in a long time, so some of the habits I had with my other two kids were forgotten. I was always pretty good at changing diapers quickly and not getting peed on, but I definitely forgot some of the old tricks, such as covering them up when changing diapers so they cannot pee on you. Safe to say I remembered after the first few times of changing diapers a few months ago that I needed to cover my newborn son up.

I was also really good at not getting thrown up on. Part of that is my kids mostly want their Mommy, which means a lower percentage chance of me being directly there in front of them when they throw up. I also got pretty good at burping them, knowing the signals to pick them up before they throw up, or to tilt them a certain way if they were about to throw up. All of this went out the window and I had to slowly remember it all when my newborn son arrived.

Earlier this week, I knew my son was about to throw up when he was in his bouncer during dinner time. I picked him up because I didn’t want him to choke on his throw up and time seemed to slow down. All I saw and heard in slow motion was projectile vomiting and somehow I channeled my inner Neo from The Matrix to side step it all. I even turned my head to the left to see the vomit fly right by me and looked down to see it splatter all over the kitchen floor. This is all while holding my son upright in front of me, with my hands underneath his shoulders and in his armpit. After changing him, I thought to myself - I am the One.